Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • Illustration
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

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      • Inspiration
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      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

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        • Rrrick
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        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

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          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • December 7, 2009 9:07 am
          • December 7, 2009 9:01 am
            abnormis: nancy played with mr. t’s gentle giant for months after xmas.

            :

            nancy played with mr. t’s gentle giant for months after xmas.

          • December 7, 2009 8:59 am
            (via alohafriday) handcuffs and eyeshadow best Christmas ever

            (via )

            handcuffs and eyeshadow

            best Christmas ever

          • December 7, 2009 8:55 am
          • December 7, 2009 8:30 am

            "Last night at McDonald’s I got a 6 piece chicken McNuggets. Inside there were 7 chicken McNuggets.
            I felt like I’d just high fived a tiger."

            - Coach Tom Landry

          • December 6, 2009 11:00 pm

            "Sooner or later number 69 is gonna be in your face."

            — Al Michaels (announced this a few minutes ago on Viks vs.Cards game)

          • December 6, 2009 10:57 pm
            dirtygondola: hopi snake priest OMG!!! I totally know this chick! She goes to my old high school and is friends with my younger sister! Holy Shit! I would love to see some more of her! PM me if you have more!

            :

            hopi snake priest

            OMG!!! I totally know this chick! She goes to my old high school and is friends with my younger sister! Holy Shit! I would love to see some more of her! PM me if you have more!

          • December 6, 2009 11:51 am
            colorwheel

            colorwheel

          • December 6, 2009 11:19 am
            sexisfunny: oletheros : myhole (via adult-empire.com) funnier if cock was uncircumcised

            :

             : (via adult-empire.com)

            funnier if cock was uncircumcised

          • December 6, 2009 11:18 am

            When I was older

            I was wearing a pair of old army boots and my 3 yr old nephew told me that. “When I was older I used to wear those boots.”