Hookers or Cake

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In an effort to mobilize younger voters the Obama administration is reportedly considering legalizing Marijuana. “People are just not as excited as last time, and the more younger people that get out to vote the better it will be for us and the future of America,” said Vice President Joe Biden on a campaign stop in a Waffle House in North Carolina, late Friday night/early Saturday morning.

Plans have even gone so far as to draft a legal ‘420’ tender. A currency that would be solely for drug procurement. It would be worth $80 dollars American or 4 x $20 and be able to be traded for “a quarter of pretty decent shit,” according to unnamed white house sources. The currency would feature a picture of famous cannabis advocate and everyones favorite pot head, Willie Nelson in front of an American flag and state on the back, “In Willie We Trust.”

Jade Bos of Hookers or Cake for

I’m writing a blog about a story I’m gonna write, because studies show the internet loves meta.

Anywho, I’m writing and old crime noir story about a cop that’s investigating a rash of suicides.

The deceased are all middle aged to older men who have purchased cyberlife companions, you know, sex robots or cyborg wives or whatever you want to call them. Upon further investigation all the cyborg companions are highly sophisticated and modified versions that may or may not belong to the feds. I’ve been told not to talk about it as there are highly classified elements in play.

Anyway, men are killing themselves and no one knew why until we began hacking into their robot companions. Its revealed a sad and twisted tale. The men were being blackmailed by the company that built the robots. The men would sign what they thought was a fixed 30 year contract and after a hefty down payment and 12 monthly payments, BAM!, their monthly payment would double. They’d all unwittingly signed contracts with an adjustable rate, so there was no legal recourse. If the owner did not pay the robot could be disposed of anyway the company saw fit as it was rightfully their property. If they didn’t pay the robot was programmed to self destruct. To make matters worse the women robots all told the men beforehand that they were killing themselves because the men obviously didn’t love them. In some cases, the grief stricken men killed themselves before the robot ever had a chance. Records showed that many of the men could barely afford the robot spouse as it was, doubling the payments had literally killed them or that’s what I was out to prove.

Dallas!

JR discovers the secret.

This is my 2 minute manifesto.

My endless song of love!

“Hey, have you ever gotten so high that you opened a whole ton of tabs on your computer and then you forgot you were a sentient being that lives in time and space? Dude, that happens to me, uh… I mean, John Adams all the time.” - Thomas Jefferson

Just look at his picture, TJ was totally baked 24/7. And he was a pretty sweet bro, aside from being a slave owning rapist… and a baby killer. Seriously, this one time, Jefferson like totally killed my baby.

The gingerbread crackhouse came out pretty nicely.

Can’t wait to smoke it.

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”

- Hunter S. Thompson

Don’t worry! We’ll call that fancy rehab place in the morning and you’ll be back to feeling like your old self in no time. Just be quiet now and rest and let me take care of everything.

While you’re getting clean I’ll fix up the old El Camino and we’ll drive on down to Belize when you get out. Then we’ll camp in huts on the beach and take those gel caps I’ve been saving, lay in the sun until our faces melt off, and then merge into the cosmic… no? Of course you’ll still be able to do psychedelics baby, those aren’t drugs. They’re just windows into the roaring heart of reality.

I love you too biscuit lips, now don’t worry, we’ll get through this.