Hookers or Cake

but wheres the fajita’s and the pcp?!

and the lawyers wrote their magical poetry
translating the law whichever way the money fell
the scientist wrote their manifestos to god
they told him/her to fuck off
“We don’t need you, when we can create our own diet soda,” they said.
“And we don’t need your Deus ex machina,
(I don’t even know what Deus ex machina means!)
but whatever it is, we don’t need it
and we sure as hell don’t understand it
and you can shove it
put it in all the bright pretty things & moments
and sell it down at the outlet mall.

but somewhere there was a pure man
an innocent… he believed in Jesus with the heart of a child
something about love
through all this pain and madness

and in his wallet he kept a picture of Jesus
it was old and crumbling
Jesus was holding his chest open
exposing his beating heart

his beating heart
which the world tore apart
like rabid dogs

maybe old Christ was showing us something
a little bit deeper about the truth of reality

and just as God was twittering about some new internet porn that is also a tasty, healthy snack, I awoke from the dream.

I spent the next several weeks in a deep meditative state trying to recall the magical 140 character message. This was important, not only would it make me rich but it would also satisfy my every desire. Like if the body of Christ tasted like Doritos’s or chocolate but then also satisfied the deep longing to merge joyously into a blissful unity and wholeness.  Like diet soda that actually tasted delicious but then also had a great set of tits.

NOM NOM NOM indeed.

I chuckle as I write this, remembering that the first last supper (aka communion) was all about eating magical mushrooms. Some folks argue that all religions come from mushroom eating. Whatever the case I think we can all agree that good drugs sure have influenced music and the snack industry in some wonderful ways and plays of being.

(via hewhocannotbenamed)

(via )

TGIF BITCHES…

My personal eschatology

When you die, you go to heaven and Godzilla makes you a huge rootbeer float.

In editing my book of short stories I’ve decided to come out with a family edition in which each story will end thusly.

…then all the kittens repented, became born again thru our Lord Jesus Christ and lived happily ever after. They never used illicit drugs, fornicated, gambled, blasphemed, or practiced evil cat magic again.

The End

more Easter pics for your enjoyment

The wonderful thing about having a guru is that you are no longer burdened by endless nagging questions and choices. You give all things to the guru. You are free. So if something arises in samsara you just IM your guru.

Me: Jill wants to go to a movie =S

G: What movie? =)

Me: The Hurt Locker

G: SUcKS! =[

Me: Really? It won the academy award?=0

G: Sucks!>=[

Me: K =)

G: if your main character has to give a speech at the end of the film, explaining who he the main character is… your film sucks. x(

Me: oh snap =)

G: that and last scene is a metal video w/slo-mo action =/

Me: wow =D

G: told ya - it sucks! ;)

!!! SPOILER ALERT !!!

The 2cnd coming of Jesus wasn’t quite as Pat Robertson had envisioned.

:(via )

Ya see, Darwin never pulled this kinda tail. And this my friends is proof of evolution.