Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • May 15, 2011 1:57 am
            The Old Testament God lying in the dark with limp dick in hand. What does he masturbate to? When he closes his eyes do the dancing incarnate visions slowly lose all form and become amorphous jiggling blobs of pure creative matter? Does he find his mind wandering out into boundless space? So if God is omnipotent, then he is quite obviously fucking himself. And thats soo gay, dude. For God there is no other, so he’s gettin blown, but he’s also doing the blowing! The greedy little Jew… I guess I worry about God. I worry that he’s not having a good time. I worry that he’s not ‘getting it’ every which way he can. That life is a little bit of a bummer for him. Maybe I’ll get him a subscription to Juggs magazine and bring over some brownies.

            The Old Testament God lying in the dark with limp dick in hand.

            What does he masturbate to?

            When he closes his eyes do the dancing incarnate visions slowly lose all form and become amorphous jiggling blobs of pure creative matter? Does he find his mind wandering out into boundless space?

            So if God is omnipotent, then he is quite obviously fucking himself. And thats soo gay, dude. For God there is no other, so he’s gettin blown, but he’s also doing the blowing! The greedy little Jew…

            I guess I worry about God. I worry that he’s not having a good time. I worry that he’s not ‘getting it’ every which way he can. That life is a little bit of a bummer for him. Maybe I’ll get him a subscription to Juggs magazine and bring over some brownies.

            31 notes Filed under:  Sunday, communion, religion, silly stories,.
          • January 13, 2011 12:13 am
            I’d fuck me hard.

            I’d fuck me hard.

            43 notes Filed under:  communion, inspiration, religion, joeseph campbell would understand,.
          • September 22, 2010 11:18 pm
            and just as God was twittering about some new internet porn that is also a tasty, healthy snack, I awoke from the dream. I spent the next several weeks in a deep meditative state trying to recall the magical 140 character message. This was important, not only would it make me rich but it would also satisfy my every desire. Like if the body of Christ tasted like Doritos’s or chocolate but then also satisfied the deep longing to merge joyously into a blissful unity and wholeness.  Like diet soda that actually tasted delicious but then also had a great set of tits.NOM NOM NOM indeed.I chuckle as I write this, remembering that the first last supper (aka communion) was all about eating magical mushrooms. Some folks argue that all religions come from mushroom eating. Whatever the case I think we can all agree that good drugs sure have influenced music and the snack industry in some wonderful ways and plays of being.

            and just as God was twittering about some new internet porn that is also a tasty, healthy snack, I awoke from the dream.

            I spent the next several weeks in a deep meditative state trying to recall the magical 140 character message. This was important, not only would it make me rich but it would also satisfy my every desire. Like if the body of Christ tasted like Doritos’s or chocolate but then also satisfied the deep longing to merge joyously into a blissful unity and wholeness.  Like diet soda that actually tasted delicious but then also had a great set of tits.

            NOM NOM NOM indeed.

            I chuckle as I write this, remembering that the first last supper (aka communion) was all about eating magical mushrooms. Some folks argue that all religions come from mushroom eating. Whatever the case I think we can all agree that good drugs sure have influenced music and the snack industry in some wonderful ways and plays of being.

            30 notes Filed under:  Gordon Wasson, art, bestofhoc, blasphemous, communion, drugs, mushrooms, religion, silly stories,.
          by Peter Vidani. For .
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