Hookers or Cake

In my universe God is the last remaining human being. He/She/It is holding an eternal telethon/memorial/relief concert. All the best robot/ghost/holograms are there/here. Billy Joel, now the size of Saturn, is scheduled to sing New York State of Mind between mouthfuls of hot pizza. Lady Gaga and Kanye West have promised a fight to the death with giant foam rubber dildos.

God asks for a moment of silence in remembrance of humanity but God has accidentally sat on the button that starts all of the holograms doing their act at the same time. The resulting wall of sound coalesces into torrent of white noise that is then amplified by seventeen encores all at once. The screaming stream of humanity roars into deafening silence and we are again told the old story. The old story replete with blurry family photos and about three billion years of anticipation.

School was starting next week and I needed that KISS Gene Simmons notebook. But my mom wouldn’t buy it for me. She told me KISS worshiped Satan. Like most 7 year olds I was unsure what a Satanist was, I just thought KISS looked cool as hell.

The problem now was all my friends were getting KISS posters, t-shirts and I had nothing. I’d even outgrown my Spiderman shoes. I was pretty bummed. I remember going over to my Grandma’s house and my uncle Marty had a ton of KISS stuff. I’d never heard their music, so he played me some… I was baffled. They looked like demons but they sounded just like everyone else. They were just a boy band dressed up like monsters. I lost all interest. 

I wonder if right now there’s a 7 yr old girl having the same experience with Lady Gaga?

It the old days one would live the life of a monk for many years and master the art of meditation before the guru would assign you a koan.

Here at Tumblr we don’t have time for such formalities as understanding and context. We’ve got kitten memes to post people! Somewhere there is a picture of Lady Gaga that has yet to be posted… no wait… nevermind. O hai nice hat!

Ok where was I? Oh yes, seeing deeply into the nature of all things… through the art of the koan. What is a koan? The short answer is, a koan is a question that one cannot answer with the mind.

Here is your koan - may it free you from the illusion of bondage (unless yer into that sorta thing)

Do you remember that old timey song from the 50’s - Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be Will Be)?

Que Sera, Sera in that song was pronounced kay surah, surah

Well in 1987 a little band called Lisa Lisa & the Cult Jam had a #1 single called Head to Toe. Inthis song, Lisa Lisa sings the words Que Sera, Que Sera but she pronounces the lyric ku sara, ku sara and then goes on to sing whatever will be will be. Both of these songs sing the same lyric with the same meaning yet pronounce them quite differently.

Which is the correct pronunciation?