Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • December 13, 2012 2:01 am
            In my universe God is the last remaining human being. He/She/It is holding an eternal telethon/memorial/relief concert. All the best robot/ghost/holograms are there/here. Billy Joel, now the size of Saturn, is scheduled to sing New York State of Mind between mouthfuls of hot pizza. Lady Gaga and Kanye West have promised a fight to the death with giant foam rubber dildos. God asks for a moment of silence in remembrance of humanity but God has accidentally sat on the button that starts all of the holograms doing their act at the same time. The resulting wall of sound coalesces into torrent of white noise that is then amplified by seventeen encores all at once. The screaming stream of humanity roars into deafening silence and we are again told the old story. The old story replete with blurry family photos and about three billion years of anticipation.

            In my universe God is the last remaining human being. He/She/It is holding an eternal telethon/memorial/relief concert. All the best robot/ghost/holograms are there/here. Billy Joel, now the size of Saturn, is scheduled to sing New York State of Mind between mouthfuls of hot pizza. Lady Gaga and Kanye West have promised a fight to the death with giant foam rubber dildos.

            God asks for a moment of silence in remembrance of humanity but God has accidentally sat on the button that starts all of the holograms doing their act at the same time. The resulting wall of sound coalesces into torrent of white noise that is then amplified by seventeen encores all at once. The screaming stream of humanity roars into deafening silence and we are again told the old story. The old story replete with blurry family photos and about three billion years of anticipation.

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