Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • May 6, 2012 1:36 am
            It all started out innocently enough, I was watching my neighbor watch TV.  I became so engrossed in the program that I stood there intently watching for maybe ten minutes before I realized what I was doing and turned on my own TV. The program was phenomenal, it was a documentary called Sex Robot. A week later I was bored and flipping through channels when I remembered my neighbor. Maybe they were watching another interesting program. Eureka! A new show called Monkey Tits was premiering on TNT. It was a police show about a gorilla police detective and his sexy, super smart partner. After that, whenever I wanted to watch a new program I just grabbed my binoculars and checked what my neighbor was watching. But then they installed a window shade. And darkness fell upon me. So I’ve decided to start stalking them in hopes of getting to know them socially. Maybe I can get them to start a blog about TV! So remember, if a stranger approaches you in a bar and wants to speak to you about television, don’t be frightened. Its just me. I want to sing a song to you from my heart and its about our mutual love, TV.

            It all started out innocently enough, I was watching my neighbor watch TV.  I became so engrossed in the program that I stood there intently watching for maybe ten minutes before I realized what I was doing and turned on my own TV. The program was phenomenal, it was a documentary called Sex Robot. A week later I was bored and flipping through channels when I remembered my neighbor. Maybe they were watching another interesting program. Eureka! A new show called Monkey Tits was premiering on TNT. It was a police show about a gorilla police detective and his sexy, super smart partner. After that, whenever I wanted to watch a new program I just grabbed my binoculars and checked what my neighbor was watching.

            But then they installed a window shade. And darkness fell upon me.

            So I’ve decided to start stalking them in hopes of getting to know them socially. Maybe I can get them to start a blog about TV!

            So remember, if a stranger approaches you in a bar and wants to speak to you about television, don’t be frightened. Its just me. I want to sing a song to you from my heart and its about our mutual love, TV.

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