Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • October 21, 2009 9:46 am

            You strut across the street, back to the Liberace’ museum like you just fucked the San Diego Chicken. You watch Foster take all of the blow out of a wax likeness of Liberace’ while you count all the money. You decide right then and there that you both need to head down to the strip in style. It only makes sense, you have all this cocaine, you pretty much have to take the Rolls Royce that is covered in mirrors… right?

            So you head down to the Bellagio. You figure you play some high stakes black jack and get a nice room comped plus maybe some extras.

            Sure enough, not only do you get a lovely free suite but you also double your money at the tables.

            Later that evening you are waist deep in hookers and blowing fat rails off the the bald head of Mr. Warmth himself - Don Rickles. Life couldn’t get any better.

            3 weeks later you slip in a puddle of horse urine at the Kentucky Derby and end up a vegetable. It was fun while it lasted.

            The End

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