Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • October 17, 2009 12:11 am

            Shit yeah. Franks dealer Raoul. I might even be able to score a piece on cred.
            You throw on your lucky Journey tee and cruise on over.

            Raoul lives right across the street from LAX. Convenient, but damn noisy. You park around back and hustle up the stairs. Raoul’s girl, George answers.

            “Well come on in Sugar!” George is a tall black pre-op tranny who calls everyone ‘Sugar’ or ‘Honey’. George went to UCLA on a football scholarship but was kicked off the team after showing up in some rather explicit videos. George is playing Madden with some of her girlfriends. Every so often when there’s a big play she yells with her voice lowering a couple of octaves “All Day Bitches!!” and then she giggles and squeals like a little girl.

            Raoul is at the kitchen table smoking and talking on the phone.
            He holds the phone to his chest. “What the fuck do you want?”

            You play it cool, “Just looking for Frank.”

            “That makes 2 off us” Raoul sneers.
            “Your boy is into me for 10 large. Its not good.” Raoul goes back to his phone call. You realize there aint gonna be no free ride here. So you decide to slip out.

            Just as you are walking out the door George grabs your hand and walks out with you. She smiles big and holds up a little bag of white powder. Looks like an 8-ball.

            “I always did think you were cute she drawls.” You blush and reach for the baggie. “Nuh Uh Honey! Not til I git a little sugar!” She leans forward for a kiss.

            Do you

            or

            Do you

            1. hookersorcake posted this