Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.


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    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.


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          • October 15, 2009 7:44 pm

            You are the cocaine fueled lead singer of the now defunct band “Shy Glove”. It has been 6 years since your last hit single, “Mustache Fuss” and it has been a sharp jagged fall from the top. Your latest solo record “Mumbletop Mountain” opened on Billboards top 200 at #114, only to fall off the face of the earth and to never be heard from again. Your big tour was immediately cancelled and the only gigs you can get now are opening for Creed at state & county fairs across the mid-west.

            You owe money to many powerful and evil people all over the world; Drug dealers, bookies, ex-spouses, club managers, gangsters, & even a dictator of some eastern block country, whose kids birthday party you failed to show up at. It is becoming obvious, that your only hope of even staying alive at this point is by getting the band back together for a new album and a reunion tour. The only problem with this plan is your old lead guitarist, Frank, has gone missing.

            Linda, Franks wife, says that Frank started acting erratically in the past few months. He grew a mustache and started disappearing for days and then weeks at a time. Linda says she hasn’t seen Frank in weeks but he appears at the house from time to time. She needs your help. She also says that Frank has a coke dealer in El Segundo who is looking for him. She is worried that it might already be to late and that Frank could be gone forever.

            Do you in Santa Monica to see Linda


            Do you go over to

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