Hookers or Cake

   My fathers idea of spirituality was to shove an oboe up the dogs ass and wait for it to fart us a vision. We followed that dog around for three days before Super Bowl XIV only to lose 1,300 dollars on the Rams.

The place where I’m from you can amble down the boulevard with an attractive companion while walking a tame wolf. On warm days it isn’t odd to be greeted by a mechanical white elephant that serves frozen libations of cow’s breast milk. The elephant sings a loud, proud and simple tune and if you’re are truly blessed you may soon find yourself investigating the true nature of a Dilly Bar.

I  hope that all humans come to know the leisure of such silly, lovely things.

But what usually happens is a couple of assholes always want all the dilly bars for themselves and they ruin it for everyone.

The Buddha opened his eyes and saw the stoner sitting before him. The stoner was holding a white lotus and smiling like he’d just eaten a plate full of delightful snacks off the devils ass.

The Buddha nodded in acknowledgement to the stoner and the stoner bowed before the Buddha and went on his way.

…later, one of the Buddha’s disciples asked about the exchange. The Buddha replied, “I don’t fucking know dude… that guy was high as shit. He’s probably 6 miles deep in the woods right now getting raped by a bear.”

I’ve always had reoccurring nightmares about zombies but lately my dreams have taken a turn for the sexy.

Hot Zombie 3-way - Zombie Orgy 

and the neat thing about zombie sex is it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl or a canned ham or whatever - zombies by their very nature are full of holes and in the middle of a blood orgy any orifice will do.

The bummer is that the sex isn’t very good, not that it doesn’t physically feel good. No the sex feels awesome, its just that… I dunno the zombies don’t really seem that into it ya know?

Sadly, the body of Christ is not an “All U Can Eat” buffet.

likeadoll: Dean Martin photographed by Terry O’Neill, 1971.

(Source: )

The soul dreams of soaring
breathtaking coastal vista’s
wild and free.

A golden roaring sun
giving life and love to a new galaxy.

 3 hours later

The reality of the situation
is hiding under the bed
gnawing on a old hot dog.

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Een overzicht van ” book” oproepen door Jade Bos.

The wild and wonderful gives me the best book review ever.

A child discovers a magical bottomless super big gulp.
she drinks Dr. Pepper and Orange Crush

until she develops a tumor.
The tumor whispers such hot sweet secrets

God becomes aroused

creates the moons of Saturn.

The tumor whispers such simple beauty
all that remains is a singular bright moment of life

Life - cackling of itself…

you sweet bright carazy mutha fucker!

you always was everything.