Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

    • Illustration
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

      -----------------------------------

      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

      --------------------------------------

      • Inspiration
      • art
      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

        -----------------------------------------

        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

          -----------------------------------------

          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
          ----------------------------------------
          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • November 30, 2012 1:47 pm
            Me and my buddy Carlos are trying to finish a little three minute film of one of my short stories. The only shot we need is medium length slo-motion shot of a sexy girl walking across the frame. You think it would be easy, but in south Florida nothing is easy. So far we’ve tried three different girls. The first girl was… well lets just say the pictures she’d sent were from when she still had most of her teeth. The second girl seemed to not understand that it wasn’t an amateur porno shoot and kept taking off her top and trying to unzip my pants. We got a lot of great footage but all of it is quite graphic and out of focus. The third girl seemed perfect but then she pulled out an 8 ball of coke. 3 days later and some missing equipment we are again left without any usable footage. Dear wonderful girls of Miami/Fort Lauderdale we are in need of an attractive lady in her twenties/early thirties for a simple outdoor shoot that should take less than thirty minutes. Attire should be sexy but PG-13 and casual. And we can come to you as the shot only needs to be in a residential area or a park. If you are interested please reply to  if you just want to party and do drugs… I’ll be gassing up the El Camino.

            Me and my buddy Carlos are trying to finish a little three minute film of one of my short stories. The only shot we need is medium length slo-motion shot of a sexy girl walking across the frame. You think it would be easy, but in south Florida nothing is easy. So far we’ve tried three different girls. The first girl was… well lets just say the pictures she’d sent were from when she still had most of her teeth. The second girl seemed to not understand that it wasn’t an amateur porno shoot and kept taking off her top and trying to unzip my pants. We got a lot of great footage but all of it is quite graphic and out of focus. The third girl seemed perfect but then she pulled out an 8 ball of coke. 3 days later and some missing equipment we are again left without any usable footage.

            Dear wonderful girls of Miami/Fort Lauderdale we are in need of an attractive lady in her twenties/early thirties for a simple outdoor shoot that should take less than thirty minutes. Attire should be sexy but PG-13 and casual. And we can come to you as the shot only needs to be in a residential area or a park. If you are interested please reply to if you just want to party and do drugs… I’ll be gassing up the El Camino.