Hookers or Cake

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I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • September 7, 2011 12:40 am
            You never hear much about Dr. Suess’s sequel to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It was called Death in Whoreville. Ya see, after the Grinch found Christ he stopped spending all his money nailing all the whores in Whoreville. So the towns dire economic conditions threw everything into a choatic hell where starving crazed whores ate and killed one another other until there was only one giant, insane, cannibal whore left. The GiantInsaneCrazedWhore then sucked the life out of the entire area to the degree that a permanent dead zone was born. The Gods then took pity on the earth and filled the GICW buttocks with helium (so the GICW could not stay in any one place too long) and the GICW wandered 5 star hotels and lived off of bottle service and racing horse semen. Can you give this Giant, Insane, Cannibal Whore a name?

            You never hear much about Dr. Suess’s sequel to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It was called Death in Whoreville.

            Ya see, after the Grinch found Christ he stopped spending all his money nailing all the whores in Whoreville. So the towns dire economic conditions threw everything into a choatic hell where starving crazed whores ate and killed one another other until there was only one giant, insane, cannibal whore left. The GiantInsaneCrazedWhore then sucked the life out of the entire area to the degree that a permanent dead zone was born. The Gods then took pity on the earth and filled the GICW buttocks with helium (so the GICW could not stay in any one place too long) and the GICW wandered 5 star hotels and lived off of bottle service and racing horse semen.

            Can you give this Giant, Insane, Cannibal Whore a name?

            92 notes Filed under:  Dr. Suess, Kim Kardasian, prose,.
            1. reblogged this from
            2. said: Bub. (belligerent undead bimbo)
            3. reblogged this from
            4. answered: nigga you know thats a corgi face
            5. thedailydoodles answered: Gashzilla.
            6. answered: Pat Barry
            7. answered: Jim Carey
            8. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            9. answered: Candy Hoo Who
            10. answered: Michelle Bachmann
            11. reblogged this from
            12. answered: Yummy Yoo-Who
            13. answered: Ann Coulter? yikes, is that too mean?
            14. answered: CORP
            15. answered: Paris Hilton!
            16. reblogged this from
            17. answered: Charlie. Thats a good cannibal name. The giant, insane, whore part is just details
            18. reblogged this from
            19. reblogged this from
            20. reblogged this from
            21. answered: Cassandra
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