Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • March 3, 2010 8:34 pm
            I was leaving for the grocery store to do the Thanksgiving Day shopping. I knocked on Richard Dawson’s door to see if he wanted to add anything to the list. He wanted the usual. A handle of scotch and some mac & cheese.Then the conversation got… well read for yourself.Richard: You getting a turkey?Me: Yeah and all the fixings.Richard: Well don’t get to big a birdMe: Why not? We got like 12-15 people coming over.Richard: Naw nothing over 12lbs…Me: Why?!!Richard: Well I don’t want it making my pecker look small.

            I was leaving for the grocery store to do the Thanksgiving Day shopping. I knocked on Richard Dawson’s door to see if he wanted to add anything to the list. He wanted the usual. A handle of scotch and some mac & cheese.

            Then the conversation got… well read for yourself.

            Richard: You getting a turkey?
            Me: Yeah and all the fixings.
            Richard: Well don’t get to big a bird
            Me: Why not? We got like 12-15 people coming over.
            Richard: Naw nothing over 12lbs…
            Me: Why?!!
            Richard: Well I don’t want it making my pecker look small.

            26 notes Filed under:  silly stories, hookers,.
            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            2. said: WTF we are match game twinsies tonight apparently
            3. hookersorcake posted this
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