Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.


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    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.


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          • April 4, 2012 6:00 pm

            Hey look at my fabulous tits!

            I’m playing God in a Hungarian TV mini-series

            Hey please subscribe to my  - I only post horrifically absurd/bad videos I make. I promise NO ADS! or SPAM

            Support your local weirdo’s!

          • March 27, 2012 2:42 am

            I don’t know if you are ready for Col Bruce Hampton. But this 4 minute section from from his guitar outstructional video will tell you everything you need to know about everything.

          • March 21, 2012 11:14 pm

            Terry Gilliam basically calling Steven Spielberg a boring hack.


          • March 17, 2012 3:41 am

            I was thinking about public meltdowns and I remembered wandering around Portland in 1999 in the middle of a month long manic episode.

            I saw some old crippled bum playing a guitar up on 23rd. His left hand was completely withered into a frozen claw but he had the guitar on an open tuning and played it like a lap steel, his gnarled hand acting as the slide. He sang an old country song called Waterloo. Not the one by Abba, this one was a tad more dark. One of the verses was about a lovers suicide and how about everyone will meet their Waterloo. 

             Well, that old boy sang that song right through me. Looked at me and sang as only a broken old man can and it was the beginning of the end. I started crying and didn’t stop for about a month. I had some serious problems. But I got lucky and stumbled and tumbled through those dark crazy times. Had some good friends and some good therapy and it still took 12-15 years.

            Anyway heres the Kinks doing a great live version of Waterloo Sunset. It doesn’t have anything to do with the original Waterloo song by Stonewall Jackson but its just too damn sweet not to share.

            Peace and Om on the range to you all.

          • March 15, 2012 3:36 pm

            My commercial for Petsmart came out a little darker than I intended.