Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • Illustration
    • My Video's
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

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      • Inspiration
      • art
      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

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        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

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          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • January 2, 2010 11:43 am
            ?

            ?

          • December 30, 2009 9:39 pm
            Wedding Planning Pros & Cons #7  Open Bar Con - Expensive Pro - Memories that last a lifetime

            Wedding Planning Pros & Cons

            #7  Open Bar

            Con - Expensive

            Pro - Memories that last a lifetime

          • December 30, 2009 4:52 pm

            :

            :

            (via )

            hell yeah

            found some pics of Rrrick online

          • December 29, 2009 8:54 am

            When I was a kid we didn’t have no internet porn.

            We had to time everything for a 3 second shot of some boobies on late night cable.

            It was either that or

            GLOW was the equivalent of walking 5 miles to school through 8 feet of snow.

          • December 22, 2009 8:55 pm

            Gabba Gabba Hey!

          • December 21, 2009 8:57 am
            Reason why today might suck Its the shortest day of the year (in terms of light, in the northern hemisphere) Its Monday Tiger Woods! Tiger Woods! Tiger Woods! pretty young girls are dying =( Tara Reid - still going strong God, if he exists, got up in the middle of the night and ate all of your fried chicken. Prince does not return your phone calls

            Reason why today might suck

            1. Its the shortest day of the year (in terms of light, in the northern hemisphere)
            2. Its Monday
            3. Tiger Woods! Tiger Woods! Tiger Woods!
            4. pretty young girls are dying =(
            5. Tara Reid - still going strong
            6. God, if he exists, got up in the middle of the night and ate all of your fried chicken.
            7. Prince does not return your phone calls

          • December 11, 2009 9:02 am

            TGIF Bitches

          • December 10, 2009 12:16 am
            (via janitoroflunacy) Finally. A ventriloquist act worth seeing.

            (via )

            Finally. A ventriloquist act worth seeing.

          • December 8, 2009 11:12 pm
            sexismandthecity: Join Or Die - a series of paintings where Justine Lai has painted herself having sex with each US President, in chronological order! Splendid idea. Now if she would have only painted Lincolns perfect thighs… (sigh)

            :

            Join Or Die - a series of paintings where Justine Lai has painted herself having sex with each US President, in chronological order!

            Splendid idea. Now if she would have only painted Lincolns perfect thighs… (sigh)

          • December 8, 2009 10:42 pm
            juliasegal: Some people always choose the shittiest guys to date.I can relate, because I always choose the shittest vibrator. I turn it on and it just tells me I’ve gained weight…

            :

            Some people always choose the shittiest guys to date.I can relate, because I always choose the shittest vibrator. I turn it on and it just tells me I’ve gained weight…