Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • February 27, 2012 10:58 pm
            He was playing by himself when the monster burst through the bushes, and came at him, roaring. The little boy ran as fast as he could. He was lucky the monster didn’t catch him. When the boy returned to the sandbox hours later his sand castle had been smashed and his toys broken. Over the years the monster broke a lot of his toys and even stole his food. The boy lived in constant fear of the monster. He could burst out at any moment, from anywhere. No matter what he did or where he hid the monster always found him and he had to run for his very life. It took the boy a long time to learn to be careful and how to outsmart the monster. In fact after a long while the boy became so clever that he even followed the monster one day to see were it lived. To his surprise the monster lumbered into the shed behind the boys house. And when the boy peered into the window he saw the monster take off his mask, the monster was the boys father. The monster never came after that and the boy grew into an adult and forgot all about monsters and toys. He went off to school far away, got a good job in the city, fell in love, and got married. It wasn’t long after that a baby was on the way. The day the baby was born a large black box wrapped with a white ribbon appeared on the front porch. Inside the box was the mask of the monster. There was also a card from his father. All it said was “ROAR!”

            He was playing by himself when the monster burst through the bushes, and came at him, roaring. The little boy ran as fast as he could. He was lucky the monster didn’t catch him. When the boy returned to the sandbox hours later his sand castle had been smashed and his toys broken.

            Over the years the monster broke a lot of his toys and even stole his food. The boy lived in constant fear of the monster. He could burst out at any moment, from anywhere. No matter what he did or where he hid the monster always found him and he had to run for his very life.

            It took the boy a long time to learn to be careful and how to outsmart the monster. In fact after a long while the boy became so clever that he even followed the monster one day to see were it lived. To his surprise the monster lumbered into the shed behind the boys house. And when the boy peered into the window he saw the monster take off his mask, the monster was the boys father.

            The monster never came after that and the boy grew into an adult and forgot all about monsters and toys. He went off to school far away, got a good job in the city, fell in love, and got married.

            It wasn’t long after that a baby was on the way. The day the baby was born a large black box wrapped with a white ribbon appeared on the front porch. Inside the box was the mask of the monster. There was also a card from his father. All it said was “ROAR!”