I’ve had a couple of offers over the last year to write “humorous stories” for blogs. The problem is that places always want me to eliminate politics, sex, religion and cursing. I wonder if they’ve ever read my blog or if this is some strange ongoing hoax. But, I’m always excited to be offered money for my stories, so I give it a whirl.
One story I wrote involved a self cleaning oven that becomes filled with doubt and stops cleaning itself. A repairman is sent out and the oven falls desperately in love with him and then there’s like 3 pages of the most explicit self cleaning oven fucking that I’ve ever written, followed by a graphic murder/suicide lovers quarrel. Strangely the only edit changes they suggested were that I change the self cleaning oven into an Apple product and if I could, change the phrase grudge fuck to hate fuck. I guess hate fuck trends a little better with their demographic.