One spring while shoveling out the ash room underneath the old black iron boiler, I kicked at a piece of something hard and saw a glint. It was a massive metal turd worth more than twelve million dollars.
Come to find out the ‘coal’ we’d been using in the boiler all winter was actually fossilized dinosaur shit. I guess when the sky was closer and outer space was our lover the dinosaurs subsisted wholly on a diet of stars. Their poop would be flecked with gold and full of precious metal stardust.
Sadly, we ran out of dinosaur poop because the dinosaurs all died once the mammals came along and fogged up the atmosphere. Until that point the atmosphere only consisted of a sleepy little girl, but as her head filled with hot manimal breathe, the atmosphere grew and space receded. The earth became a maze of strip malls and the dinosaurs were no more.
We made a shit ton of money (no pun intended) until we ran out. Started several world wars and hid God in an old china shop for almost five thousand years. Those were the days. It was a helluva summer.