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I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • August 31, 2011 12:52 am
            I was so embarrassed when my friends found out my guru was white. I figured it was time to go to India and seek out a more authentic seer. It was either that or suffer being laughed right out of yoga class. It wasn’t until I got here that I realized what an insanely fucking horrible place India is…. Sure the enlightened master lives in a resort town near many 4 or 5 star hotels and decent shopping. But they only have dial up internet and get this, this ashram doesn’t even have a microwave. How I am I supposed to make prasadam (Microwave popcorn) to offer the eternal creator and destroyer? What a shithole.

            I was so embarrassed when my friends found out my guru was white. I figured it was time to go to India and seek out a more authentic seer. It was either that or suffer being laughed right out of yoga class.

            It wasn’t until I got here that I realized what an insanely fucking horrible place India is…. Sure the enlightened master lives in a resort town near many 4 or 5 star hotels and decent shopping. But they only have dial up internet and get this, this ashram doesn’t even have a microwave. How I am I supposed to make prasadam (Microwave popcorn) to offer the eternal creator and destroyer?

            What a shithole.

            30 notes Filed under:  Eat - Love - Poop, prose,.
            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            2. said: Use the Hello Kitty popcorn machine instead of the microwave?
            3. said: Mmmm… Prasadam.
            4. hookersorcake posted this
          by Peter Vidani. For .
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