Hookers or Cake

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I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • August 15, 2010 12:20 pm
            I built a machine for my dead grandmother. It was a room sized mood organ. She could sit in a comfortable chair in front of a large TV screen surrounded by speakers. There were dozens of brightly colored buttons on a control panel with corresponding words on them remorse joy apathy rage empathy absurdity peace  Push a button and the subject would see images, video, sound, music, I also incorporated smell, temperature and of course brain wave technology. Grandma just kept mashing a faded gray button labeled REGRET.  One day she had enough and smashed the whole machine into bits. Now I spend most of my time bailing her out of jail. It seems that grandma loves nothing more than to drink a couple of sloe gin fizzes and flash young Latino boys on the city bus.

            I built a machine for my dead grandmother. It was a room sized mood organ. She could sit in a comfortable chair in front of a large TV screen surrounded by speakers. There were dozens of brightly colored buttons on a control panel with corresponding words on them

            • remorse
            • joy
            • apathy
            • rage
            • empathy
            • absurdity
            • peace

             Push a button and the subject would see images, video, sound, music, I also incorporated smell, temperature and of course brain wave technology. Grandma just kept mashing a faded gray button labeled REGRET.  One day she had enough and smashed the whole machine into bits. Now I spend most of my time bailing her out of jail. It seems that grandma loves nothing more than to drink a couple of sloe gin fizzes and flash young Latino boys on the city bus.

            35 notes Filed under:  bestofhoc, drawing by me, silly stories, prose,.
            1. richiemillennium said: Super hooray surprise attack! Always be on the lookout for super hooray!
            2. reblogged this from hookersorcake
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            7. said: Thank heavens I don’t ride the bus.
            8. reblogged this from hookersorcake
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            10. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            11. said: Young Latino boys are where it’s at.
            12. said: Can you rig one these for me ?
            13. hookersorcake posted this
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