Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • August 30, 2011 12:34 am
            I joined a fantasy football league that is run by a wild pack of wolves. I know its dangerous, but that’s why I do it. For the fucking thrill of feeling alive! That and the entry fee is only $50 bucks. Actually I’m not even doing it for the money. I’m doing it to prove to myself that if I were the last man on earth, I could still understand simple statistical analyisis better than a family of savage carnivores.  Henceforth, once I defeat the wolves they will know I’m good with numbers and they’ll put me in charge of their banks and from the banks, I could control the markets and consequently their entire socio-politiacal-eco structure. Thereupon, you guessed it, I’ll be king of the fucking wolves and we’ll kill Sarah Palin!  ED. note: Dearest government employee, I know you may be a dumb hick, hell bent on making a name for yourself by reporting that I, Jade Allen Anthony Bos the IV, have threatened the life of a U.S. political leader. But I am here to assure you that, not only is Sarah Palin a wretched excuse for a leader, but that my threat is obviously a work of satire. In it, I also speak of becoming the king of the wolves by winning a fantasy football league of thiers. Sir or Madam… wolves do not play fantasy football. Its an obvious metaphor of the continuing demasculinazation of the 21st century male in modern society. Also note that while I would love to refer to Sarah Palin as a cunt; seeing a how it is one of the stronger words left in existence when it comes to showing disapproval of another human being, I do not want people to mistake my displeasure with Ms. Palin as being sexist. No. Its all very simple. She’s a ignorant selfish animal who we shouldn’t let run a dog shelter. I don’t believe in animal cruelty.  And in fact all this gibberish is just a sad ruse so I can ask people if they want to join my fantasy football league. ????

            I joined a fantasy football league

            that is run by a wild pack of wolves.

            I know its dangerous, but that’s why I do it. For the fucking thrill of feeling alive! That and the entry fee is only $50 bucks.

            Actually I’m not even doing it for the money. I’m doing it to prove to myself that if I were the last man on earth, I could still understand simple statistical analyisis better than a family of savage carnivores.

             Henceforth, once I defeat the wolves they will know I’m good with numbers and they’ll put me in charge of their banks and from the banks, I could control the markets and consequently their entire socio-politiacal-eco structure. Thereupon, you guessed it, I’ll be king of the fucking wolves and we’ll kill Sarah Palin!

             ED. note: Dearest government employee, I know you may be a dumb hick, hell bent on making a name for yourself by reporting that I, Jade Allen Anthony Bos the IV, have threatened the life of a U.S. political leader. But I am here to assure you that, not only is Sarah Palin a wretched excuse for a leader, but that my threat is obviously a work of satire. In it, I also speak of becoming the king of the wolves by winning a fantasy football league of thiers. Sir or Madam… wolves do not play fantasy football. Its an obvious metaphor of the continuing demasculinazation of the 21st century male in modern society.

            Also note that while I would love to refer to Sarah Palin as a cunt; seeing a how it is one of the stronger words left in existence when it comes to showing disapproval of another human being, I do not want people to mistake my displeasure with Ms. Palin as being sexist. No. Its all very simple. She’s a ignorant selfish animal who we shouldn’t let run a dog shelter. I don’t believe in animal cruelty. 

            And in fact all this gibberish is just a sad ruse so I can ask people if they want to join my fantasy football league. ????

            1. reblogged this from
            2. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            3. answered: No. Go fish. :)
            4. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            5. answered: Woof.
            6. replied:
            7. answered: Eh, she is a cunt, so what
            8. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            9. answered: No but I’m dancing with the Cosbys!
            10. answered: do you take sterling silver as payment. We dominate fantasy, both football and living midst one. As Ice cube said whats the haps on the craps
            11. hookersorcake posted this