Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • August 22, 2011 2:09 am
            If you put the word horse cock in the first sentence of your story, people are guaranteed to read it. Here, I’ll prove my point by writing a short story with the word horse cock in the first sentence. See there, I just did it. You’ve read it. That was the entire story. The rest of this is just words being used as filler to make this look like a legitimately longer story, all so I could spring my horse cock ruse upon you. And I did it, so yeah for me. Yeah for all of us really. Cuz lets think of all the people skimming over this article, thinking, “too many words…” or the other potential readers who get to the words ‘horse cock’ and abruptly stop reading. Do they just block out all of the dirty sin they come across? *blank*blank*blank* Kitten Picture *blank*blank*blank* Nature Photo blank*blank* blank*** Are they not curious about horse cock musings? Or does the sin prick away at them like a hidden needle. Do they later wonder about unread horse cock stories? “Hmmm I wonder what that horse cock story was alll about?  There seemed to be a lot of words after that dirty phrase. I wonder if it was a long joke or just words written by a demon possessed, short story writer. Maybe it was a bold declaration of love or some teenager trying to untie his/her emotions. Maybe it was just some wierdo trying to play with reality but being too shitty a writer to pull it off. Hmmmm I wonder what that was all about. Hmmmmm I wonder…   wonder.”

            If you put the word horse cock in the first sentence of your story, people are guaranteed to read it. Here, I’ll prove my point by writing a short story with the word horse cock in the first sentence.

            See there, I just did it. You’ve read it. That was the entire story. The rest of this is just words being used as filler to make this look like a legitimately longer story, all so I could spring my horse cock ruse upon you. And I did it, so yeah for me. Yeah for all of us really.

            Cuz lets think of all the people skimming over this article, thinking, “too many words…” or the other potential readers who get to the words ‘horse cock’ and abruptly stop reading. Do they just block out all of the dirty sin they come across? *blank*blank*blank* Kitten Picture *blank*blank*blank* Nature Photo blank*blank* blank*** Are they not curious about horse cock musings? Or does the sin prick away at them like a hidden needle. Do they later wonder about unread horse cock stories? “Hmmm I wonder what that horse cock story was alll about?  There seemed to be a lot of words after that dirty phrase. I wonder if it was a long joke or just words written by a demon possessed, short story writer. Maybe it was a bold declaration of love or some teenager trying to untie his/her emotions. Maybe it was just some wierdo trying to play with reality but being too shitty a writer to pull it off. Hmmmm I wonder what that was all about. Hmmmmm I wonder…   wonder.”

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            3. monsterman said: I short story about a demon possessed horse cock sounds entertaining.
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            5. criminalwisdom said: Maybe it was just some wierdo trying to play with reality but being too shitty a writer to pull it off. Bingo! :-)
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            10. said: I’m sorry, what were you saying? All I could think about was “horse cock.” What, not actual horse cocks! No!
            11. thedailydoodles said: Hahaha… I loved this one a horsecockian amount.
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