The New Age shop down the way started selling sex toys. It was only a matter of time once they started selling tantric yoga sex books. Its a slippery slope.
I’d wandered in to see if they had any Wilhelm Riech books for my dominatrix, Marie, and I discovered they had a whole ‘sexuality’ section. I was pleasantly surprised to see a couple of ‘spiritual fisting’ books and what could be best described as a gigantic dildo section.
“Come on! I’m a middle aged white guy in a new age gift shop, I obviously have inadequacy issues, now you gotta wave giant cocks in my face?”
While a lesbian couple snickered at my obvious discomfort I spied the best thing I had ever seen. Dildo Ouroboros: A motorized sex toy that fuck’s itself. The box was emblazoned with slogans:
- A real conversation piece (if you can keep it out of your mouth!)
- You can fuck it - it can fuck you - or it can fuck itself!
- For the hard to please narcissist.
- Buy several and make a chain of ‘fucking machines’ to bind your hands and feet as you drown in a endless sea of desperation!
Wow, I betcha my lawyer would enjoy one of these. Hell, I might as well get one for my guru too.
