Me and God were roomies back when he was working on his big book. God was kind of a dick. You know the type of guy that orders pizza and pays for it when the girls are over, but then makes you pay him back in cash the next day. That and he always wanted feedback on his stupid book.
I kept trying to tell him that it was too long and boring. Also you couldn’t always be killing everyone and then have the ‘good guys’ impregnating their own daughters, it’s gross. He wouldn’t listen. I did help him with the ending a touch. He originally had a giant ape winning 6 - 2. But I pointed out that not only did it not make any sense, but people generally don’t have much empathy for giant flesh eating apes. No one is gonna git all hot bothered about salvation only to be dominated for eternity by some Bigfoot rip-off. You gotta trick em. Tell em their boss will be some laid back hippie who always has weed. Tell em they’ll have gold mansions and virgins and that the Flaming Lips do 3 shows a day. Tell em everything is free and they’ll live forever. I mean people got no imagination, so just let em imagine endless wealth.
Ohhh and have the whole book end as a fever dream so folks don’t take it to literal…
