Hey! guess who’s writing for Grey’s Anatomy now??!!
Patient: The new pills awesome, but I just wish we could do something about the side effects.
Dr: What kind of side effects are you having?
Patient: Oh the ushe… bleeding, projectile vomiting, anal depression, and ect. but now my left arm keeps falling off. I almost dropped a full tray of whoppers on little Todd yesterday. Is there anything we can do about that?
Dr: Well lets take a look at that arm.
(patient hands Dr. left arm)
(Dr. makes interested Doctor sounds)
Patient: Well Doc, whattya think?
Dr: Yes I’ve seen this before. Not sure what it is but I think I have something that may work. (hands patient a fistfull of packets) I got a bunch of these free samples at the drug reps free luncheon yesterday. Here take 1 of these 3 times a day every other day for 8 days and then drink 2 gallons of this (places 5 gallon bucket on counter) before bed.
Patient: What does it do?
Dr: Who fucking knows?! (uproarious laughter) But the insurance covers it.
Patient: Yeah but seriously, whats it do?
Dr: Like I said, I’m not sure, but according to my secretary you just lay in bed and watch the fucking walls melt in a warm array of pastel colors. She said ‘It was like really cool.’
Patient: Sounds great!
Dr: Yeah. Well I gotta get. Say hey to the wife for me.
Patient: She died 8 months ago on the operating table Doc… you remember? You were the attending surgeon.
Dr: Oh yeah the lawsuit. Now I remember. My insurance went up. Well how are the kids?
Patient: Todd hasn’t spoken since and…
Dr: and thats why you went on the medication. (snaps fingers) Yep its all coming back to me now. hmmm yeah… Welp I gotta run. See ya next week?
Patient: You bet Doc.
(que music and death & rebirth montage)
