Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • June 13, 2011 10:55 pm
            Mother Teresa hadn’t seen the internet yet and she asked me for an apt metaphor. I meditated on it during the commercial  breaks until I knew the proper response.  M: “Think of the 2 people you respect and love more than anyone in the entire world.” Mother Theresa: “That’s easy, God and William Shakespeare.” M: “Good. Now imagine them having a conversation. Picture God holding William Shakespeare’s hands and saying tenderly, ‘Vote for the cool new tattoo my roomates, topless girlfriend just <3!!!’ over and over, in a megaphone.” Mother Theresa: “That doesn’t make any sense?” M: “Did I mention you’re waist deep in Juggs magazines?”

            Mother Teresa hadn’t seen the internet yet and she asked me for an apt metaphor. I meditated on it during the commercial  breaks until I knew the proper response. 

            M: “Think of the 2 people you respect and love more than anyone in the entire world.”

            Mother Theresa: “That’s easy, God and William Shakespeare.”

            M: “Good. Now imagine them having a conversation. Picture God holding William Shakespeare’s hands and saying tenderly, ‘Vote for the cool new tattoo my roomates, topless girlfriend just <3!!!over and over, in a megaphone.”

            Mother Theresa: “That doesn’t make any sense?”

            M: “Did I mention you’re waist deep in Juggs magazines?”

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