I held you close
like a bowl of warm chili
In vain I treated your mortal wound
3 cups of really good butterscotch pudding
I ate the 4th
it was sweet
actually it was technically the 3rd cup cuz i got hungry halfway through the 2cnd
and really if were being like totally honest I ate like 1/2 of the 4th cup too cuz your mortal wound was full
full of really good butterscotch pudding
mmm… where were we?
oh yeah, your mortal wound
yeah you were all like “I’m dying and I love you and shit”
and I was being all stoic
cuz I thought in the back of my mind the whole thing might be a practical joke and I didn’t want be crying like a bitch on television
so I held you close and I looked all tough and cool into your eyes
and you where like “God your so fucking hot, Todd.” and I was like “Ditto baby.”
and we kissed and the music swelled and you began to fade
I held you even closer as you whispered “I will always love… Michelob.” and you breathed your last and I cried “Its what the weekends were made for baby!”
Later the doctors explained that you probably just lost control of the part of your brain that really loves Michelob. It just let loose like a wildfire through your body as your various physiological systems shut down.
You left this mortal coil in a death induced, Michelob frenzy
and I for one think that’s pretty damn classy. But then again, you were and always will be, one classy lady.
