Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • May 23, 2010 12:58 am
             I held you close like a bowl of warm chili In vain I treated your mortal wound  3 cups of really good butterscotch pudding I ate the 4th it was sweet actually it was technically the 3rd cup cuz i got hungry halfway through the 2cnd and really if were being like totally honest I ate like 1/2 of the 4th cup too cuz your mortal wound was full full of really good butterscotch pudding mmm… where were we?  oh yeah,  your mortal wound yeah you were all like “I’m dying and I love you and shit” and I was being all stoic cuz I thought in the back of my mind the whole thing might be a practical joke and I didn’t want be crying like a bitch on television so I held you close and I looked all tough and cool into your eyes and you where like “God your so fucking hot, Todd.” and I was like “Ditto baby.” and we kissed and the music swelled and you began to fade I held you even closer as you whispered “I will always love… Michelob.” and you breathed your last and I cried “Its what the weekends were made for baby!” Later the doctors explained that you probably just lost control of the part of your brain that really loves Michelob. It just let loose like a wildfire through your body as your various physiological systems shut down. You left this mortal coil in a death induced, Michelob frenzy and I for one think that’s pretty damn classy. But then again, you were and always will be, one classy lady.

            I held you close

            like a bowl of warm chili

            In vain I treated your mortal wound 

            3 cups of really good butterscotch pudding

            I ate the 4th

            it was sweet

            actually it was technically the 3rd cup cuz i got hungry halfway through the 2cnd

            and really if were being like totally honest I ate like 1/2 of the 4th cup too cuz your mortal wound was full

            full of really good butterscotch pudding

            mmm… where were we? 

            oh yeah,  your mortal wound

            yeah you were all like “I’m dying and I love you and shit”

            and I was being all stoic

            cuz I thought in the back of my mind the whole thing might be a practical joke and I didn’t want be crying like a bitch on television

            so I held you close and I looked all tough and cool into your eyes

            and you where like “God your so fucking hot, Todd.” and I was like “Ditto baby.”

            and we kissed and the music swelled and you began to fade

            I held you even closer as you whispered “I will always love… Michelob.” and you breathed your last and I cried “Its what the weekends were made for baby!”

            Later the doctors explained that you probably just lost control of the part of your brain that really loves Michelob. It just let loose like a wildfire through your body as your various physiological systems shut down.

            You left this mortal coil in a death induced, Michelob frenzy

            and I for one think that’s pretty damn classy. But then again, you were and always will be, one classy lady.

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
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            3. said: It’s like I can see Fabio’s hair blowing in the wind.
            4. hookersorcake posted this