Hookers or Cake

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I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • May 21, 2010 9:00 am
            I’m tired. I spent most of the evening at Spanky’s adult emporium.  I’ve got really good seats to see Celine Dion in concert and I need a sex toy that is not only visually obvious from a good distance… but it also needs to have the right amount of heft and balance to be thrown at a great velocity over 15 - 20 meters. Any ideas?

            I’m tired. I spent most of the evening at Spanky’s adult emporium.

             I’ve got really good seats to see Celine Dion in concert and I need a sex toy that is not only visually obvious from a good distance… but it also needs to have the right amount of heft and balance to be thrown at a great velocity over 15 - 20 meters.

            Any ideas?

            33 notes Filed under:  silly stories, 76543210, bestofHoC,.
            1. answered: Maybe let Roxxxy walk down one of the aisles. No throwing necessary, batteries sold separately.
            2. answered: Apparently Myla have a marble dildo with a fur tail. I think it’s probably too expensive to hurl at unsuspecting divas, though.
            3. answered: light-up cock ring(s) on a black rubber dildo
            4. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            5. answered: ONE WORD: RAMBONE edenfantasys.com/dildos/…
            6. answered: You just need to find the right crucifix.
            7. answered: flesh-light.
            8. answered: Butt plug if you want to throw a spiral. Double dildo for end-over-end silliness. Strap-on catapult to fling benwah balls for style points.
            9. said: Can you videotape, I need a good laugh, buy one for me too while you are at it!
            10. answered: the classic double dildo should work methings. it NEEDS to be pink though.
            11. answered: Anything “double ended”.
            12. answered: bwahhhhahhahhaa! ur going to trow a dildo at Celine Dion? Thats fantastic!
            13. answered: butt plug
            14. hookersorcake posted this
          by Peter Vidani. For .
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