Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

    • Illustration
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

      -----------------------------------

      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

      --------------------------------------

      • Inspiration
      • art
      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

        -----------------------------------------

        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

          -----------------------------------------

          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
          ----------------------------------------
          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • May 13, 2011 10:57 pm
            I remember laughing at the endless ball of fire in the sky. How freeing it felt, to mock the mysterious energies of nature.  “We’re mysterious beings too ya know,” whispers a cardboard cut out of David Bowie, “and no one is lining up to drink our blood, not even vampires.” And David Bowie is right, in recent studies its been proven; a hungry wolf wouldn’t go within 10 feet of a human, even if it was dead and cut up and covered in wolf seasoning. “Such a big shot - son of God,” smiled David. “Like I’m gonna bow down to some virgin hippie who doesn’t even smoke grass.” At this point of the dream I realize I’m hanging out with David Bowie and I nervously touch his hair and then David Bowie gets scared and I try to calm him down, but I accidentally kill him. So then I pretend I’m David Bowie. And no one notices, not even his lovely wife Iman.  So now I know the key to all existence. If you ever run into any trouble, or boredom or feelings of depression… just pretend you’re David Bowie and it’ll pep ya right up.

            I remember laughing at the endless ball of fire in the sky.

            How freeing it felt, to mock the mysterious energies of nature.

             “We’re mysterious beings too ya know,” whispers a cardboard cut out of David Bowie, “and no one is lining up to drink our blood, not even vampires.”

            And David Bowie is right, in recent studies its been proven; a hungry wolf wouldn’t go within 10 feet of a human, even if it was dead and cut up and covered in wolf seasoning.

            “Such a big shot - son of God,” smiled David.

            “Like I’m gonna bow down to some virgin hippie who doesn’t even smoke grass.”

            At this point of the dream I realize I’m hanging out with David Bowie and I nervously touch his hair and then David Bowie gets scared and I try to calm him down, but I accidentally kill him. So then I pretend I’m David Bowie. And no one notices, not even his lovely wife Iman. 

            So now I know the key to all existence. If you ever run into any trouble, or boredom or feelings of depression… just pretend you’re David Bowie and it’ll pep ya right up.

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            2. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            3. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            4. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            5. hookersorcake posted this