Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • Illustration
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    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • April 16, 2010 11:19 am
            :  I just wanted to say you have the best tumblr name I have seen yet.

            Oh hai thanks!

            I wish I could take credit for it. The name actually comes from… well, I was involved with a cult that was devoted to the teachings of David Lee Roth a few years back. Well don’t ya know a bunch of us got busted for stealing Barbie dolls en masse over at the Santa Monica mall. So the fuzz was patting me down and it was kinda weird… this cop  patted me down in this strange and rhythmic fashion and the rhythm stayed with me until one day I was talking to my neighbor Ed about it and he said it was probably some kinda code.  We looked into it and sure enough, it was eastern Congolese drum code. Turned out the cop was patting the phrase “Hockney or Lace” over and over again. So I thought it must have some kind of significance so I named some things after it… like my 2 goldfish, my yacht, my kitten racing team and even my blog. I changed my blogs name to Hookers or Cake later on because I had a nephew who died in a lingerie factory fire and I didn’t want to be reminded of that terrible tragedy every time I had a hankerin’ for some blogging action.

            So there ya go.

            Warm regards

            Hookers or Cake

            “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” - Diamond David Lee Roth

            1. hookersorcake posted this