I was being stalked by Carol Channing. She showed up at my office, my wedding, and even the muffler shop…
“Darling!!! You must come to the desert. We need you for the rocket launch!”
She had strong magic and began to alter my day to day waking reality. Everyone was turning into Carol Chaning - My wife, my cat, Jesus, my proctologist! Inanimate objects like the toilet would even start singing “Hello Dolly” while I was trying to take a dump.
And she was vulgar too, begging me to… well I’ll spare you the grisly details. It got real bad.
Finally my mailman Raoul, told me that his uncle had a similar problem with Charro. He stated that once his uncle bought a black dog that it stopped. With nothing to lose I immediately went to the pound. I came back an hour later with a 3 lb chihuahua named “Mr Giggles”. I haven’t seen Carol or heard a showtune since.
But the funny thing is now, I kinda miss her.
