Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • March 9, 2010 1:01 pm
             an except from the Hookers&Cake travel guide book The mob built Vegas out of showgirls and blow. No really, if you punch a hole in the wall at Caesars you will see actual ancient pyramids of showgirls holding its massive columns in place. Sinatra’s sarcophagus is also hidden down there somewhere. A secret chamber, protected by the evil glass eye of Sammy Davis Jr. Legend also said that The Hilton had a penthouse specially built for Elvis. There you could snort the drywall and not sleep for a week. There was a fountain full of bubblin moonshine… just picture Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, only replace the candy and Umpa Lumpas with drugs and fine, fine, young showgirls. These are the visions that I always entertain when I think of Vegas.  Sadly this Vegas no longer exists. Like most things in America, old Los Vegas has been replaced by an endless homogenized gambling mall, equal parts Walmart & Disneyland. Its safe, well lit and oh so boring.

            an except from the Hookers&Cake travel guide book

            The mob built Vegas out of showgirls and blow. No really, if you punch a hole in the wall at Caesars you will see actual ancient pyramids of showgirls holding its massive columns in place. Sinatra’s sarcophagus is also hidden down there somewhere. A secret chamber, protected by the evil glass eye of Sammy Davis Jr.

            Legend also said that The Hilton had a penthouse specially built for Elvis. There you could snort the drywall and not sleep for a week. There was a fountain full of bubblin moonshine… just picture Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, only replace the candy and Umpa Lumpas with drugs and fine, fine, young showgirls.

            These are the visions that I always entertain when I think of Vegas.  Sadly this Vegas no longer exists. Like most things in America, old Los Vegas has been replaced by an endless homogenized gambling mall, equal parts Walmart & Disneyland. Its safe, well lit and oh so boring.

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              (via:criminalwisdom)
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              AN EXCERPT FROM THE HOOKERS & CAKE TRAVEL GUIDE BOOK :
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