I was working on a script for a new beer commercial featuring a 12 pack that will be an end of the world sampler.
The 12 Beers of the Apocalypse!
Pestilence Pilsner
Lawlessness Lager
Ect.
But the brewery and network shot down the idea. Eventually the sampler was made into the 12 Monsters of Hell! Each bottle is a different demon. You rip the head off the bottle and drink the poisoned crazy blood before the monster goes insane and attacks the children or a helpless kitten. And then you can explain your drunken hi-jinks as a sacrifice so no one suffers and the kids don’t get hurt.
“Angela honey, Daddy saw that the evil spirit bottle was about to kill a kitten so I drank its poison quick. Daddy might act a little funny now but he’s just fighting off the monsters in his blood. If you are quiet and go play with this empty, it’ll help Daddy win his battles. Remember to be super quiet tomorrow morning too because Daddy will be sick from all the fighting.”
And the kids can collect all the different bottles and play with them and grow up to be future consumers of the same brand.
