Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

    • Illustration
      •
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
      • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

      -----------------------------------

      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

      --------------------------------------

      • Inspiration
      • art
        • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

        -----------------------------------------

        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
          • ----------------------------------------- some writing

          -----------------------------------------

          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
          ----------------------------------------
          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • February 27, 2010 2:01 am
            I had been in Italy for a couple months. Nothing too glamorous, just working in a shipyard somewhere west of Venice.Once I got back in the US I found out that Old Dirty Bastard had died. I immediately phoned a friend. Me: “Dude! ODB died?! F: “Yeah… you didn’t know? Me: Dude I was out of town! Why didn’t you call me? F: Oh I dunno, I figured you woulda heard. Me: Like some Italian is gonna run up to me in the street and say? ‘Sir you Americano? So sorry for you loss… but… de aged Dirty Bastard… hesa dead!!!”

            I had been in Italy for a couple months. Nothing too glamorous, just working in a shipyard somewhere west of Venice.

            Once I got back in the US I found out that Old Dirty Bastard had died. I immediately phoned a friend.

            Me: “Dude! ODB died?!

            F: “Yeah… you didn’t know?

            Me: Dude I was out of town! Why didn’t you call me?

            F: Oh I dunno, I figured you woulda heard.

            Me: Like some Italian is gonna run up to me in the street and say? ‘Sir you Americano? So sorry for you loss… but… de aged Dirty Bastard… hesa dead!!!”

            17 notes Filed under:  silly stories,.
            1. hookersorcake posted this
          by Peter Vidani. For .
          © 2009–2013 Hookers or Cake