Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • March 9, 2011 8:01 pm

             Sorry I can’t make it into work today. Last night I awoke at 3am and my left arm had turned into a little baby. I thought I was dreaming so I rolled over and went back to sleep. I was awoken again later by laughter. My right arm was now also a baby and it was whispering to the baby that was my left arm… the babies then smiled strangely at me and proceeded to rape me until I passed out screaming… maybe an hour or two I dunno. 

            I woke up at 7 this morning and my arms where normal again but i don’t think I can make it in to work. I guess I musta had some bad pork at the mall.

            -HookersorCake

            181 notes Filed under:  silly stories, lol, baby arms, ultimate warrior, prose,.
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              wasn’t built like Marty Jannetty...would totally be Ultimate Warrior for Halloween (or...
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