Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • November 30, 2012 2:14 am
            I ended up on an adult chat site this evening. I don’t know how I got there. I think I clicked on a picture of some half naked girl… because I like bananas. And this whole matrix of webcams opened up. I usually just close those windows and go about my business, but I saw some girl that looked familiar. I hovered over her picture and a window opened up and it was a live feed of a girl, no one I knew, she was just sitting there topless, reading a book. People were typing messages to her on a scroll and every now and then someone would give her 25 tokens or 13 tokens and there would be a loud ding and the girl would look over her book and say “Thank You MonsterCock5000!” and then she’d go back to reading her book. It was like a Terry Gillian film. Then I started poking around - on the website, and I saw all sorts of things.  I saw two half naked teenage girls who where in what looked like their parent’s living room in front of a Christmas tree. They where drinking tequila. It was like the fantasy of a 15 year old boy. I wondered what life would’ve been like if I’d grown up with this. When I was 15 I masturbated to bra ads I’d found in the newspaper. Like I grew up in the time of Greek mythology or something. Oh well, I guess it gave me a strong imagination. I also saw a chat room of some girl sleeping and people where chatting to her nonetheless. Saying things like “Wake up!!!” and  “No, don’t wake up… heehee” and “Sleep forever my angel!” and ect. Someone tipped her 50 tokens and she opened one eye and muttered “Thank you MonsterCock5000!…” and went back to sleep. Like real sleep! I’m talking snoring and dog twitching sleep. Then I saw a cam that looked like a QVC home shopping network set up. The girl was showing a fancy gold and blue jeweled ring she was chanting about time while running her fingers through a giant pile of sand. MonsterCock5000! gave her 78 tokens and she just winked and said, “I give the best hand jobs ever!” And in only three easy payments.

            I ended up on an adult chat site this evening. I don’t know how I got there. I think I clicked on a picture of some half naked girl… because I like bananas. And this whole matrix of webcams opened up. I usually just close those windows and go about my business, but I saw some girl that looked familiar. I hovered over her picture and a window opened up and it was a live feed of a girl, no one I knew, she was just sitting there topless, reading a book. People were typing messages to her on a scroll and every now and then someone would give her 25 tokens or 13 tokens and there would be a loud ding and the girl would look over her book and say “Thank You MonsterCock5000!” and then she’d go back to reading her book. It was like a Terry Gillian film.

            Then I started poking around - on the website, and I saw all sorts of things.  I saw two half naked teenage girls who where in what looked like their parent’s living room in front of a Christmas tree. They where drinking tequila. It was like the fantasy of a 15 year old boy. I wondered what life would’ve been like if I’d grown up with this. When I was 15 I masturbated to bra ads I’d found in the newspaper. Like I grew up in the time of Greek mythology or something. Oh well, I guess it gave me a strong imagination.

            I also saw a chat room of some girl sleeping and people where chatting to her nonetheless. Saying things like “Wake up!!!” and  “No, don’t wake up… heehee” and “Sleep forever my angel!” and ect. Someone tipped her 50 tokens and she opened one eye and muttered “Thank you MonsterCock5000!…” and went back to sleep. Like real sleep! I’m talking snoring and dog twitching sleep.

            Then I saw a cam that looked like a QVC home shopping network set up. The girl was showing a fancy gold and blue jeweled ring she was chanting about time while running her fingers through a giant pile of sand. MonsterCock5000! gave her 78 tokens and she just winked and said, “I give the best hand jobs ever!”

            And in only three easy payments.

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