Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • November 21, 2012 1:04 am
            In the future God was just a computer program that some pervert down at the YMCA created so he could spy on women. It worked really well. So well in fact that when God, the program, was discovered it was taken over by a secret federal agency. They were all pretty amazed by God, the program, and used the technology they found therein to drive the world into all devouring singularity.  Luckily when all of consciousness merged into one, it just realized “Whoa dude, like cool” and then bounced back inversely through itself into the big bang gang of reality again. It was a close call. In the subsequent reordering of our universe God got made into a reference point of that, “Whoa dude, like cool” moment and then some other dudes wrote some really shitty fan fiction. In my fan fiction God never leaves the YMCA and the ladies. A zombie plague hits and all the women become zombies who have communion on our dear sweet God. And they just don’t rip him to shreds, they have a great elegant feast where God is served in several courses with music and jugs of wine and dancing. In the end God says grace and is devoured completely.

            In the future God was just a computer program that some pervert down at the YMCA created so he could spy on women. It worked really well. So well in fact that when God, the program, was discovered it was taken over by a secret federal agency. They were all pretty amazed by God, the program, and used the technology they found therein to drive the world into all devouring singularity.  Luckily when all of consciousness merged into one, it just realized “Whoa dude, like cool” and then bounced back inversely through itself into the big bang gang of reality again. It was a close call.
            In the subsequent reordering of our universe God got made into a reference point of that, “Whoa dude, like cool” moment and then some other dudes wrote some really shitty fan fiction.

            In my fan fiction God never leaves the YMCA and the ladies. A zombie plague hits and all the women become zombies who have communion on our dear sweet God. And they just don’t rip him to shreds, they have a great elegant feast where God is served in several courses with music and jugs of wine and dancing. In the end God says grace and is devoured completely.

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