Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

    • Illustration
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

      -----------------------------------

      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

      --------------------------------------

      • Inspiration
      • art
      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

        -----------------------------------------

        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

          -----------------------------------------

          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
          ----------------------------------------
          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • March 2, 2011 9:00 am
            I was at the liquor store. Filling my cart for a surprise birthday party. After fussing with 12 year old bottles of this and that for a couple of lifetimes I went to check out. But there was no one No one but an open door Peeking through the door I was surprised to find a field of cherry blossoms and an old man wandering off in the distance. He wore a flowing kimono and jingly jangly bells. “HEY ED!” I yelled after him, “Wha… who the fuck is minding the store!” He turned, waved and wandered off over some hill. I stood there for a bit. I could hear the birds chirping and smell the fresh spring breeze. “Well, free booze,” I thought. But when I turned back around to go into the store, there was nothing but endless rolling black space and a lot of stars. “Surprise!” said the cosmos, “Surprise!” echoed the voice in my head.

            I was at the liquor store. Filling my cart for a surprise birthday party.

            After fussing with 12 year old bottles of this and that for a couple of lifetimes

            I went to check out.

            But there was no one

            No one but an open door

            Peeking through the door I was surprised to find a field of cherry blossoms and an old man wandering off in the distance. He wore a flowing kimono and jingly jangly bells.

            “HEY ED!” I yelled after him, “Wha… who the fuck is minding the store!”

            He turned, waved and wandered off over some hill.

            I stood there for a bit. I could hear the birds chirping and smell the fresh spring breeze. “Well, free booze,” I thought. But when I turned back around to go into the store, there was nothing but endless rolling black space and a lot of stars.

            “Surprise!” said the cosmos, “Surprise!” echoed the voice in my head.

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            2. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            3. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            4. hookersorcake posted this