Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • January 24, 2010 12:07 pm
            I was at the liquor store. Filling my cart for a surprise birthday party. After fussing with 12 year old bottles of this and that for a couple of lifetimes I went to check out. But there was no one No one but an open door Walking through the door I was surprised to find a field of cherry blossoms and an old man wandering off in the distance. He wore a flowing kimono and jingly jangly bells. “HEY ED!” I yelled after him, “Wha… who the fuck is minding the store!” He turned and waved and then he turned back to wanderin off over some hill. I stood there for a bit. I could hear the birds chirping and smell the fresh spring breeze. Well, free booze I thought. But when I turned back around to go into the store, there was nothing but endless rolling black space and a lot of stars. “Surprise!” said the cosmos, “Surprise!” echoed the voice in my head.

            I was at the liquor store. Filling my cart for a surprise birthday party.

            After fussing with 12 year old bottles of this and that for a couple of lifetimes

            I went to check out.

            But there was no one

            No one but an open door

            Walking through the door I was surprised to find a field of cherry blossoms and an old man wandering off in the distance. He wore a flowing kimono and jingly jangly bells.

            “HEY ED!” I yelled after him, “Wha… who the fuck is minding the store!”

            He turned and waved and then he turned back to wanderin off over some hill.

            I stood there for a bit. I could hear the birds chirping and smell the fresh spring breeze. Well, free booze I thought. But when I turned back around to go into the store, there was nothing but endless rolling black space and a lot of stars.

            “Surprise!” said the cosmos, “Surprise!” echoed the voice in my head.

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