Sometimes when I’m playing video games I don’t have the energy to kill things so I just wander around and space out. Last night I was doing just this when I had the strongest sense of Deja-vu. I’d never played this game before and to my knowledge I’d never been a massive alien wandering around one of Jupiter’s moons with a volcano gun, but yet it all seemed so familiar. The entire feeling was also permeated by a sense of happy anticipation, like I was going to make myself a big bowl of ice cream only I got interrupted by an important errand and then forgot about the ice cream, but I was still left with the feeling of happy anticipation. So I thought for a moment, “Hey, what was I so happily looking forward to?” and then remembered, “Ice cream!, Hell yeah!” but then I get interrupted again and this scene just keeps repeating itself until the original sense of Deju-vu expands into a endless sky like sense of knowing.
Yeah that happened to me last night for about four hours. I was enjoying the strange poly-rhythms of joy and memory while wandering around lost in a video game. And then I got sleepy and went to bed.
Today I seem to be thoroughly berating myself all day for just floating along joyously all night and not getting shit done. I need to get shit done, so I can buy and do things that allow me float along joyously in peace.
It aint easy being a human. Sometimes I wish I were just trudging about lost on an ancient moon with my trusty ol volcano gun.
