Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • October 29, 2012 1:55 am
            The text message ‘ding’ awoke me from the dream. It was still early but I got up because I needed to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom I heard several more dings of texts being received. I made my way into the kitchen and checked my phone, but there were no messages. I fixed a pot of coffee while my phone dinged some more, still no messages. I went out back with my coffee to see what the weather was like and I saw a bunch of tiny mounds of dirt. There were probably three dozen little holes the size of a golf ball puncturing the grass. The holes where all about two inches deep and surrounded an old statue of the virgin Mary. The statue had belonged to my mother. Maybe some small animal was burying something but it kept forgetting. Perhaps the Virgin Mary was planting a strange new feast. That night the ancient whale visited me in the dream again. “Dude, why don’t you answer the texts,” he whispered. “I didn’t see any messages,” I said. “You should know by now,” he sighed, “just because you don’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”

            The text message ‘ding’ awoke me from the dream. It was still early but I got up because I needed to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom I heard several more dings of texts being received. I made my way into the kitchen and checked my phone, but there were no messages. I fixed a pot of coffee while my phone dinged some more, still no messages.

            I went out back with my coffee to see what the weather was like and I saw a bunch of tiny mounds of dirt. There were probably three dozen little holes the size of a golf ball puncturing the grass. The holes where all about two inches deep and surrounded an old statue of the virgin Mary. The statue had belonged to my mother. Maybe some small animal was burying something but it kept forgetting. Perhaps the Virgin Mary was planting a strange new feast.

            That night the ancient whale visited me in the dream again. “Dude, why don’t you answer the texts,” he whispered. “I didn’t see any messages,” I said. “You should know by now,” he sighed, “just because you don’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”

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            5. said: You should be that ancient whale for halloween.
            6. hookersorcake posted this