Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • October 19, 2012 3:59 am
            I spent the day at the cabin by the lake, eating catfish, and drawing pictures. I got cleaned up after supper and went down to the barn, Its an old barn by the shore some old timer had turned into his own personal bar and friends would show up. Well he died and friends kept showing up, so now its a bar. They should make golden statues of such lusty visionaries. In front of the barn there’s an interesting historic marker that states the barn had been built on the ruins of an old druid church, that in turn been built over a cave, that was referred to in the old text as The Mouth of God. I actually remember that joint, before that it was called the Vagine of God, but God had a sex change and vagine became a dirty word. I guess they got new management or something, I forget, but I do remember they used to put on one helluva an all you can eat buffet. Anywho, I wandered down to the barn and had a couple of tall frostys while chatting with Lyle. The Shining was on TV and we got to talking about it as we watched. Lyle said he thought the whole film was a metaphor for the emasculation of modern man in post industrial society. “Its inevitable,” he said shaking his head, a wistful smile spreading. “We don’t need to kill, protect, and fuck like we did before, so we gotta find a new role or die.” He had a point I suppose, you just don’t stop millions of years of splendidly debased urges on a dime. This momentum is in our blood, so you get cooped up with the old lady and the kid, next thing ya know yer fucking rotting corpses and doing highballs with evil spirits… which is a bang up good time as far as conscious is concerned but its hard on us poor little humans, we’re all filled with such sweet loving tales of man winning and in the Shining the old man got his ass kicked and freezes to death in a labyrinth. A labyrinth that was built on top of an ancient cave.


            I spent the day at the cabin by the lake, eating catfish, and drawing pictures. I got cleaned up after supper and went down to the barn, Its an old barn by the shore some old timer had turned into his own personal bar and friends would show up. Well he died and friends kept showing up, so now its a bar. They should make golden statues of such lusty visionaries.

            In front of the barn there’s an interesting historic marker that states the barn had been built on the ruins of an old druid church, that in turn been built over a cave, that was referred to in the old text as The Mouth of God. I actually remember that joint, before that it was called the Vagine of God, but God had a sex change and vagine became a dirty word. I guess they got new management or something, I forget, but I do remember they used to put on one helluva an all you can eat buffet.

            Anywho, I wandered down to the barn and had a couple of tall frostys while chatting with Lyle. The Shining was on TV and we got to talking about it as we watched. Lyle said he thought the whole film was a metaphor for the emasculation of modern man in post industrial society.

            “Its inevitable,” he said shaking his head, a wistful smile spreading. “We don’t need to kill, protect, and fuck like we did before, so we gotta find a new role or die.”

            He had a point I suppose, you just don’t stop millions of years of splendidly debased urges on a dime. This momentum is in our blood, so you get cooped up with the old lady and the kid, next thing ya know yer fucking rotting corpses and doing highballs with evil spirits… which is a bang up good time as far as conscious is concerned but its hard on us poor little humans, we’re all filled with such sweet loving tales of man winning and in the Shining the old man got his ass kicked and freezes to death in a labyrinth. A labyrinth that was built on top of an ancient cave.

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