Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • September 19, 2012 1:09 am
            The geese on the airport runways became a danger to the aircraft. At first the airport used small air cannons to frighten the geese whenever a plane was about to land or take off. But the sound reverberated through the limestone to a nearby condominium causing several hundred complaints. The airport solved the problem by installing speakers that would play sound that didn’t carry enough to cause more that a few complaints. All went well until one night the soundfile corrupted and someone plugged in a Mp3 player and just played whatever music was on the playlist. At the top of the playlist was A for AC/DC. And that’s what the geese heard every ten minutes, the opening 21 seconds of Hells Bells. Everything went smoothly and surprisingly there were no complaints. However when the geese flew north in the spring it was goose hunting season on Lake Placid where they roosted. Its been said that you could hear the screams of the hunters from more than 5 miles away.

            The geese on the airport runways became a danger to the aircraft. At first the airport used small air cannons to frighten the geese whenever a plane was about to land or take off. But the sound reverberated through the limestone to a nearby condominium causing several hundred complaints. The airport solved the problem by installing speakers that would play sound that didn’t carry enough to cause more that a few complaints. All went well until one night the soundfile corrupted and someone plugged in a Mp3 player and just played whatever music was on the playlist. At the top of the playlist was A for AC/DC. And that’s what the geese heard every ten minutes, the opening 21 seconds of Hells Bells.

            Everything went smoothly and surprisingly there were no complaints. However when the geese flew north in the spring it was goose hunting season on Lake Placid where they roosted. Its been said that you could hear the screams of the hunters from more than 5 miles away.

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