My standard pick up lines.
“They made a videogame about my penis one time. It was called Jaws III 3-D perhaps you’ve heard of it? Lou Gosset Jr. was in it and it made a lot of money.”
“Would you like a handful of pork and beans?”
A rather effective pick up line is “BaGA BAWHAA Kumba wah wah wheee!” Then I explain to them that I had a dream the other night.
“In my dream Gibby Haynes was drunk and shirtless, driving a Little Debbie truck. He crashed violently in front of my trailer and the truck was torn open. Inside there were no snack cakes, just a million pictures of you. It took me a while to realize that the pictures formed a giant flip book. I spent several weeks arranging them and because there was no sound I had to read your lips. You asked me to proclaim my love in my own special language. This I have done. So I say to you again, BaGA BAWHAA Kumba wah wah wheee!”
And then we usually touch foreheads and become one celestial knowing.
Another good line is about a girls ass and dynamite. But I always screw up the words and then I feel silly.
