I’d invented a kind of jelly that when smeared upon a ham caused it to vibrate very subtly. Of course instead of flat out bestowing the gift upon the world I perceived it to be my manifest destiny to involve cosmic love and maybe make a little money in the process. I sold and marketed my canned hams under the assumption that once you ate of it, if you approached your one true love, the vibration of the pig meat would resonate within your commingled auras making everything glow like a lazy crackling autumn afternoon. It was a resounding success. Humanity did fall in love and remembered that joy was pouring everywhere at all times, even indoors and in the dullest of places. We remembered our past faces and got wildly drunk while slow dancing until the end of time. There were no lines and the drinks where half price.
