Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

    • Illustration
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

      -----------------------------------

      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

      --------------------------------------

      • Inspiration
      • art
      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

        -----------------------------------------

        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

          -----------------------------------------

          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
          ----------------------------------------
          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • August 25, 2012 2:53 am
            I’d invented a kind of jelly that when smeared upon a ham caused it to vibrate very subtly. Of course instead of flat out bestowing the gift upon the world I perceived it to be my manifest destiny to involve cosmic love and maybe make a little money in the process. I sold and marketed my canned hams under the assumption that once you ate of it, if you approached your one true love, the vibration of the pig meat would resonate within your commingled auras making everything glow like a lazy crackling autumn afternoon. It was a resounding success. Humanity did fall in love and remembered that joy was pouring everywhere at all times, even indoors and in the dullest of places. We remembered our past faces and got wildly drunk while slow dancing until the end of time. There were no lines and the drinks where half price.

            I’d invented a kind of jelly that when smeared upon a ham caused it to vibrate very subtly. Of course instead of flat out bestowing the gift upon the world I perceived it to be my manifest destiny to involve cosmic love and maybe make a little money in the process. I sold and marketed my canned hams under the assumption that once you ate of it, if you approached your one true love, the vibration of the pig meat would resonate within your commingled auras making everything glow like a lazy crackling autumn afternoon. It was a resounding success. Humanity did fall in love and remembered that joy was pouring everywhere at all times, even indoors and in the dullest of places. We remembered our past faces and got wildly drunk while slow dancing until the end of time. There were no lines and the drinks where half price.

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            2. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            3. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            4. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            5. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            6. reblogged this from
            7. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            8. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            9. said: I resonate with this.
            10. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            11. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            12. reblogged this from hookersorcake