Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • December 23, 2009 11:02 pm
            Today I saw a man sitting outside of a Starbucks (I live in Florida and the weather is quite nice) He was just sitting there all by himself at a table, drinking a cup of coffee. It struck me as something seemed amiss. I looked closer. A  45-50 yr old white male, polo shirt & jeans, just sitting at a table drinking coffee. He didn’t look like he was doing anything other than the aforementioned drinking of the coffee. So I watched him closer. His lips weren’t moving and he didn’t have an ear piece in. I didn’t see a phone. I waited. He didn’t seem to be fixated on anything inparticular. There was a half empty parking lot in front of him and then the road. Beyond that a wall. It was obvious that he didn’t have a laptop. He wasn’t texting. He wasn’t reading a book. He wasn’t whittling a stick. He wasn’t listening to his I-pod. He wasn’t even smoking a cigarette. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING?!!! I watched for a good 10 minutes and the man did absolutely nothing but drink his coffee. Then he finally got up went over to a trash can. He put his cup in it and walked to his car. He got in the car started it up and drove off. WTF?! Oh now its on, Douchebag!

            Today I saw a man sitting outside of a Starbucks (I live in Florida and the weather is quite nice) He was just sitting there all by himself at a table, drinking a cup of coffee.

            It struck me as something seemed amiss. I looked closer. A  45-50 yr old white male, polo shirt & jeans, just sitting at a table drinking coffee. He didn’t look like he was doing anything other than the aforementioned drinking of the coffee. So I watched him closer. His lips weren’t moving and he didn’t have an ear piece in. I didn’t see a phone. I waited. He didn’t seem to be fixated on anything inparticular. There was a half empty parking lot in front of him and then the road. Beyond that a wall. It was obvious that he didn’t have a laptop. He wasn’t texting. He wasn’t reading a book. He wasn’t whittling a stick. He wasn’t listening to his I-pod. He wasn’t even smoking a cigarette. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING?!!! I watched for a good 10 minutes and the man did absolutely nothing but drink his coffee. Then he finally got up went over to a trash can. He put his cup in it and walked to his car. He got in the car started it up and drove off. WTF?! Oh now its on, Douchebag!

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