Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • August 13, 2012 1:19 am
            When people find out I work for a puppy mill they are usually unable to hide their disapproval. What they never realize or bother to find out is that I am only a financial adviser. I give puppies sound financial advice and whatever they choose to do with that advice is up to them. Though I am proud to point out that puppies who have acted on my advice have all done quite well for themselves, aside from a couple of strays that got in a little over there head on penny stocks in Thailand. I would also like to clue people in on the fact that while puppies might appear to be cute and cuddly wuddly widdle sweethearts, looks can be deceiving. Puppies are… well lets just say I advised a litter of wiener dogs and as a result they devalued a certain African country’s currency that lead to more than 3 million people dead due to an ensuing famine and civil war. They cleared 26 billion. Do you think those puppies stopped playing tug of war with their favorite orange blanky for one second? They did not my friends, they most certainly did not.

            When people find out I work for a puppy mill they are usually unable to hide their disapproval. What they never realize or bother to find out is that I am only a financial adviser. I give puppies sound financial advice and whatever they choose to do with that advice is up to them. Though I am proud to point out that puppies who have acted on my advice have all done quite well for themselves, aside from a couple of strays that got in a little over there head on penny stocks in Thailand.

            I would also like to clue people in on the fact that while puppies might appear to be cute and cuddly wuddly widdle sweethearts, looks can be deceiving. Puppies are… well lets just say I advised a litter of wiener dogs and as a result they devalued a certain African country’s currency that lead to more than 3 million people dead due to an ensuing famine and civil war. They cleared 26 billion. Do you think those puppies stopped playing tug of war with their favorite orange blanky for one second? They did not my friends, they most certainly did not.

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            9. said: This is AWESOME.