Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • January 20, 2011 9:34 pm
            it was a quiet Armageddon We’d all become so ironic that the sun no longer warmed us and then one day we all just floated awayit was a quiet afternoonMonica spent most of her time texting sexy pics of herself to herself. It was the only way robots knew how to masterbate. it wasn’t quite to soonFather blew up like a bit of a media sensation when he was a teenager. The newspaper had printed a humorous picture of him stealing a glance at the Princess’s growing bosum. The caption said something funny about “stealing the crown jewels” and the comedy bots squeaked about it for 4 1/2 daysit wasn’t quite the moonSprawled out on his back deck Howard had hit his head pretty hard. Dazed he lay there not sure how badly he was hurt, so he just relaxed and breathed. He saw the faint full moon floating in the early morning sky above him. It shimmered and popped and Howard fell sound asleep forever after.

            it was a quiet Armageddon

            We’d all become so ironic that the sun no longer warmed us and then one day we all just floated away

            it was a quiet afternoon

            Monica spent most of her time texting sexy pics of herself to herself. It was the only way robots knew how to masterbate.

            it wasn’t quite to soon

            Father blew up like a bit of a media sensation when he was a teenager. The newspaper had printed a humorous picture of him stealing a glance at the Princess’s growing bosum. The caption said something funny about “stealing the crown jewels” and the comedy bots squeaked about it for 4 1/2 days

            it wasn’t quite the moon

            Sprawled out on his back deck Howard had hit his head pretty hard. Dazed he lay there not sure how badly he was hurt, so he just relaxed and breathed. He saw the faint full moon floating in the early morning sky above him. It shimmered and popped and Howard fell sound asleep forever after.

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            2. said: “Monica spent most of her time texting sexy pics of herself to herself. It was the only way robots knew how to masterbate.” - This. Is. Awesome.
            3. said: This was not how I imagined finding out I was a robot.
            4. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            5. hookersorcake posted this