I ducked out of the brothel to answer my phone. It was my wife.
“Your Aunt just called, her cat Puss Puss died.”
“Oh that sucks. She had that cat a long time.”
“Yeah she was pretty broken up about it.”
“Are you going to the funeral?”
“Of course, how about you?”
“No I’m snowed in pretty good here in Bengal but do me a favor and get her a card for me.”
“Of course, what would you like it to say?”
“Oh I dunno how about, “I hated your guts and I’m glad your cat is dead - All my Love, Charlie”
“Well that is completely bonkers, Charles!
“Oh no she’ll get it. She’s a cat person.”
“Well Ok, if you’re sure… any flowers?”
“Sure, two dozen roses.”
“Red?”
“Are you fucking high?”
For Victoria’s wonderful cat Kit-Kat, may she rest in peace.
